The Communities that Make Us

One of the effects of participating in a retreat this spring was a real awareness of what an impact being a part of this collective has had on me over the years. I knew this of course, but in little snippets, a pearl of insight here and there. There was something about spending a weekend in person, steeped in conversation, connection and reflection that allowed me to see these pearls strung together for the first time. It’s a beautiful chain running through my life for nearly a decade now.

One that has not only made my personal experience richer but has also touched the lives of those around me because I have been changed by the experience.

Over the years, I have been taught and shown and given permission to show up differently. My relationships are stronger, my career bigger, my bloodline cleaner. The surprising part, to me, is that my involvement in SheEO/Coralus has always been on the periphery. I have not been an overly active Activator or even particularly clear on how I fit in and yet, looking back, I can see that part of who I am today has been shaped by my involvement here.

I remember the first time that I heard about SheEO; I came across a little blurb on the intranet of the wealth management firm where I had recently started working. I don’t remember what it said but I do remember how it felt. It was like realizing you’re staring at a jewel sitting in the grass, a secret door in the shelves of the library. All of the senses coming alive and peering in for a closer look. That post disappeared, but I knew what I had seen, so I did some investigating and eventually found myself at a breakfast presentation in the regional head office of the major bank my firm belonged to.

I have since been in workshops – no doubt through a Coralus connection – that take you through sensing what ‘yes’ and ‘no’ feel like in your body. I did not need any training or guided meditation to understand the full body yes that was ringing through my being as Vicki spoke. I remember looking around the room to see if anyone else was as delighted/stunned as I was. This woman, in this building, saying those things! Radical generosity, working on the world’s to-do list, women-led.

SheEO’s vision felt like the antidote to much of what was going on both personally and in the broader world of that first Trump administration. Giving a gift to a perpetual fund that would support women and their businesses felt like a vote for the world that I wanted to see. That gift also gave so much back to me. It gave me a tangible action to take at a time when it was easier to feel powerless. It also gave me the dignity and validation that I had enough to share.

Generosity to me is one of the true markers of wealth. I was working in the world of financial wealth but I was not of the world of financial wealth. However, in perfect synchronicity, I happened to have an extra $1000 in my bank account that morning after months of saving up to move houses. I trusted that synchronicity. Trusted that this was actually what that money was intended for [when do movers ever come in under budget?] and, as I walked to the front of the room with my debit card, I worked through my internal stories of whether or not this was actually a responsible thing to do.

In the years since, I have continued to trust deeply in the synchronicity and have signed up for anything that aligns with my calendar, culminating in this most recent in-person retreat. I have experienced the magic of the just-what-I-needed-to-hear conversation in breakout rooms over and over again. I have lived experience of how relationships can be forged (yes – even virtually) and the power of an ask/give practice. I have seen the evidence that showing up with generosity works. I have been exposed to Indigenous wisdom and have participated in a Racial Justice Working Group.

None of those experiences ended when the Zoom call closed. All of them shaped how I showed up in my personal and working life. From never suppressing a generous impulse to calling in the “10,000 matriarchs at your back” when the task ahead of me was too much to face alone to embracing the ‘each one teach one’ philosophy and sharing knowledge.

My early involvement felt fairly transactional. I had front row seats to some of the coolest businesses and women in several different countries. I carried the knowledge that I was contributing in a tiny way to their mission and experienced the joy of watching their success. Occasionally, I would buy a product, reshare a post, spread the word to a friend.

What the time at the retreat showed me was a bigger picture of how being an Activator has shaped me. Having a connection to this collective has given me the confidence to go further than I believe I would have alone. If that first interaction, the original activation, confirmed for me that I had enough, this most recent experience of the retreat confirmed for me that I am enough.

All of us flocking together, participating actively and confident in our inherent enoughness? I am here for that and excited to be a part of what comes next.